Thursday, March 31, 2011

Books I've Read - Reforming Marriage

Reforming Marriage
By Douglas Wilson

A lot people would probably find this book somewhat controversial, and I think that would largely be an indication of how much our society has lost of the idea of what it means to be men and women. Although this book is about marriage and how we can change it, Wilson tends to focuses in on the man's role in this.  He points out that when it comes to have a successful marriage and raising strong children, a lot of responsibility lies with the husband and so this book on marriage ends up being more of a book about how to be a man in the sense of the word that our culture tries to ignore. 

It is no longer kosher (is it even kosher to say kosher?) to talk about the differences between men and women and how those differences should play out in our day to day lives.  Men are called to do certain things in a marriage that women are not and vice versa.  These differences should never be degrading to either party but they are there and I found it enjoyable and challenging to read a book that unashamedly assumed this and pointed a strong finger at us men.This book is well worth the read.  Even in those things that I may not have fully agreed with the author, he left me with a lot to think about and reflect on.  Douglas Wilson is good at challenging those ideas you may have always accepted, and although I think this book could make some people upset, I really do believe that its a call that we need to hear.  We no longer know what it means to be a man or to be a women and we need to reclaim and re-learn these roles if we want to see truly biblical and successful marriages.

This is a pretty short book and its a quick read that is well worth the time you will spend on it.

Random Quote: (page 35)
The problem is that men commonly have trouble honoring "weakness." When men get together with men, some sort of competition usually arises. And when competition is there, men seek to exploit weakness whenever they think they see it.... ...Consequently, if there is any kind of problem in the marriage, men commonly fall into an adversarial, competitive relation with their wives. If they disagree over something, and the distressed wife expresses her concerns, a husband with this basic competitive mentality is going to say, "That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"... ...When he responds this way, he is seeking to exploit her. But Peter [1Peter3] does not say to exploit the weakness; he says to honor her in it.

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