Getting Advice

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. – Erica Jong

"If only someone could tell me what to do."  I'm sure all of us have said, or at least thought, this at some point in our lives.  Maybe we are wondering about that guy or girl that is interested in us.  Maybe we are wondering if we should buy a house or keep renting.  Maybe we are wondering what career to peruse or whether or not to take that job offer.  Maybe we are wondering what to do about that sticky personal situation.  Whatever the situation, we have all been at that place in our life where we didn't know what to do and we wish there was someone who could give us an easy answer to our problem.

This wish-fulness has led to people adopting the 'lucky dip' method of reading their bible, or to people 'putting out a fleece.'  Hopefully I don't have to point out the folly of the first method and the presumption of the second, so I am going to instead look at the method I think most of us use, which is to ask those that we trust for advice. I want to outline a couple of principles that I think are important to keep in mind when asking for advice

Ask someone who knows

When you are getting financial advice, you probably don't want to ask someone who has spent the last 5 years building up a mountain of credit card debt and if you are asking for marriage advice you probably don't want to go to your triple divorcee friend.  It seems like a very obvious thing, but I think many of us wind up making this mistake.  We ask those who are easy to talk to, or we ask those who are in our peer group, instead of going to those who would have real insight into the situation.  The teenager looking for advice about a career to pursue, probably isn't going to get to much useful information by asking his buddies who are all in the same boat as him.  When seeking advice we need to find those who we can reasonably expect to provide wisdom and insight into the situation.

Ask someone who knows you

Just because someone has expertise is a certain area, does not mean they will apply it correctly to your situation.  Something that may be good advice for one situation could be bad in another.  Find someone who knows at least a bit about your life situation and what your value system is.  In spite of what you may believe, getting advice from someone who knows you and has a level of care for you and your situation actually tends to give better 'search results' than Google can! Hard to believe, I know! Advice from someone who is involved in your life will be better tailored to your needs and will often be more in line with what your really need to hear.

Ask more than one person

If you only go to one person for all the advice you need, be that your spouse or your dad or your sister or whatever,  you can easily get stuck in a feedback loop with each other.  You can end up going a certain way simply because of missing the view of other possibilities.  This isn't to say, of course, that every decision needs multiple inputs or even that one certain person (like your spouse) should not be involved in every major decision you make, but it is to say that occasionally branching out to get advice from people outside your normal circle will help you see new avenues and open you up to options you may not have otherwise considered

Think for yourself

When we voice the question at the start of this article we often mean something like 'I want someone to decide for me so I don't have to accept the consequences of this choice.' That is an option we do not have. No matter how wise and caring the people that you talk to are, you are still the one that has to live with your decision.  Don't blindly accept advice without thinking it through for yourself and making sure it is applicable and wise in your situation.  Advice from others is not a way to pass on the responsibility for what happens.  If someone gives you bad advice and you follow through with it, the consequences and responsibility lie on you. 

Pray

You don't need to 'put out a fleece' for prayer to be an effective tool in decision making.  Not only is it a spiritually up-building experience to bring your troubles to God, it can also be a great way of thinking through the issues.  People sometimes complain that there is no point in praying since God doesn't respond with a booming voice from heaven telling us the answer, but perhaps we are missing the point.  Perhaps it isn't about God verbally answering our prayers but instead is about God hearing our prayers.  A God who doesn't interrupt you is a good listener and sometime a good listener can help you understand your situation.  God does not take away our responsibility for our actions by telling us what to do at every step, but he does delight to hear us tell him about our decision (or indecision for that matter).  Cast your cares on him who cares for you, and watch as your burden lightens in the peace that exceeds your understanding.

Guilty! (and forgiven)

After watching that video, ask yourself this question: aren't we all a little like that dog? We do something wrong and what happens? We don't want to face the person. We try to placate them. We avoid them as much as we can. Of course the same thing also happens in our relationship with God.  When we are in sin, we avoid him. We don't talk to him. We try to appease him with our actions or try to ignore him and pretend that he doesn't exist.

This is why confession of sin needs to be a daily part of our lives.  We need to constantly turn our sins over to God and leave them at the cross. Those of us in the Protestant tradition do not go to the confessional and tell all to the priest, but nonetheless there is something we can take to heart from that tradition. We do need to confess our sins.  We need to confess to those we have wronged, and every sin that we do wrongs God, so we need to continually be bringing our sins before him.

Many Evangelical Protestants seem to think that salvation is a one time thing.  "I was saved on May 16 when I asked Jesus into my heart." or maybe for some, "I was baptized as a baby and grew up in a Christian home."  I'm certainly not trying to belittle any of these experiences, but salvation is so much more than that! In some of our lives there is that pivotal 180 turn point.  The point were we suddenly saw the light clearly and turned our faces away from sin and towards the Saviour. But, that's only one tiny point in the story we call Salvation.  The rest of the story is about walking towards the Saviour that we now love, and unconfessed sin is a barrier to that.  We become like that dog, unwilling to look at our Master, and we lose sight of where it is that we are heading.

Salvation isn't just about asking Jesus into my heart, and salvation certainly isn't just about being born and baptized into a Christian home and church.  Salvation is about walking towards the Saviour we love.  Its about gazing on him and growing closer to him day by day.  Its about daily struggles.  Struggles to know him better.  Struggles to love him better. Struggles to obey him better.  Its about his loving help in these struggles. Its about confession of wrongs.  Its about forgiveness that he gives again and again and again. Its about his unconditional love for us.  Its about the swelling notes of music in our hearts that rise as we think about these things. 

Are you saved because you were baptized? No!  Are you saved because you asked Jesus into your heart?  No! Its not what your pastor has done, and its not what you have done that can save you, its what Christ has done. Many of those who were baptized go on to live a life that shows no signs of salvation or walking towards the Saviour. And many of those who answered the alter call also walk away from the faith.  These things do not save you! If you are trusting in the fact that you were baptized or that you walked down the church aisle to save you, you are in trouble! 

You are saved because you are in relationship with God. That is where your trust needs to be.  You are are saved because your gracious loving Saviour sent his Spirit to stir your heart towards him.  Cultivate that relationship!  Treasure it! Confess your sins. Bring them to the cross and leave them there. Keep that vision of your Saviour clear and walk in his paths.  Work out your salvation with fear and trembling!  And what if you don't have a relationship like that?  Ask God for it and He'll give it to you.  He's not a stingy God. Just ask Him for this gift, and when he gives it to you, cherish it like that treasure that it is. 

Reasons to Believe - Number 5 - Rest

Do you ever feel tired? Do you ever feel burdened and crushed by the weight of what you have to deal with in life?  Perhaps work is overwhelming or perhaps its family and relationships,  or perhaps it is an illness or death, or maybe its just the suffering that a friend has shared with you.  We all have burdens and sorrows in our lives and they can weigh down on us sometimes.  Jesus shares these words with us; Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.   

Knowing our need for rest, God designed it into the very creation order, giving us one day in 7 to rest through his example.  Come to Christ again and again and cast your cares on Him.  He cares for you and listens, and you don't need to be worried that he will not be able to handle it.  He will give you rest, and just bringing the burden to him can ease the load on your shoulders. God made us. He knows how we work and how we tend to burden ourselves down with things that we have no need to bear.  Drop those burdens onto the shoulders of Christ.  Bring them to him and leave them at the cross

Reasons to Believe - Number 4 - Creation

Being a Canadian means I have to live through Canadian winters. But it also means I get to see the glory of God displayed in ways that others may not. I have seen the beauty of gently falling snow first hand.  I have gone skating on a pond on a winter night and enjoyed the time warming up around the woodstove after with a warm drink.  I have seen a side of nature that is both wondrous and dangerous at the same time.

Others of us who live elsewhere have had the chance to sail the oceans or ski on mountains or glory in the Grand Canyon or marvel at the size and heat of a desert.  There is so much variety and complexity in the world around around us.  There are geographic differences.  There are millions of different species of animals.  There are ecosystems we haven't even found out about yet.  And all this is just on this planet.  We have increasingly become aware of the immensity of the universe that our planet exists in.  The more we see of the immense complexity, and at the same time, clockwork like precision, of the universe in which we live the more it should cause us to look for the creator of all this.

Just like a great painting or song or scientific discovery can make us respect and admire the person who made it, so the great beauty and complexity or the world around should turn us to the one who made all of this and believe in the creator of this universe!

Things to pray for - Love

Prayer is important and we should all be spending time talking to God.  I think it is easy to get stuck in a rut as the saying goes, and just repeat the same things over and over. "God bless my family and protect me and forgive my sins and help me to be a better person...."  But prayer can (and should) be so much deeper than that.  There is of course a need to spend time in adoration and thanksgiving for what God is and what he does, but God also delights in hearing the requests of his saints (Matt. 7:7-11) so I am trying to pray for some more specific things in my life.  Things that go beyond the daily functions of life and that affect character. I am praying that God will apply these things specifically in my life and in the life of my wife and also that his church will be increasingly marked by these characteristics. If you would like, feel free to join me in prayer for these items.

The first of these is Love.  Pray that love would abound more and more.  That we would grow in love toward God and each other and that our hearts would expand to include love as God has defined it.  That our love for Christ would overflow into love for those that our lives touch and that we would express our love well in both words and actions.  Pray that we would have a love that is more than a feeling and that is an active living love. Pray for love.

Reasons to Believe - Number 3 - Relationship

There is something sad about seeing someone lonely. We can't help but feel sorry for that guy sitting there in the restaurant eating his dinner by himself or that girl who always sits by herself in the back of the class and doesn't seem to have any friends. We all want relationships and we feel that there is something wrong when they are aren't there. We hate death partially because it means the end of our relationship with that person. Relationships are important to us.

The amazing thing is that God offers us a relationship with himself. He offers to be our Father and our friend.  The King of the universes says come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. The righteous God has opened up a path for sinners to be in relationship with him.  God has designed us to desire relationships and he has also provided us the path to the ultimate relationships.  As wonderful as they are our human relationships with our spouses/kids/parents/friends will not fulfill us.  That fulfillment is to be found in a relationship with God.

Reasons to Believe - Number 2 - Justice

We all love justice.  We hear of atrocities all over the world with people killing each other, mistreating and abusing each other, lying cheating and stealing from each other and we want something to be done about it.  The news seems to be filled with injustices and we seem helpless to do anything about it.  Is there really justice in the world?  Is there justice for the parents who child was kidnapped and killed?  Is there justice for the town that was destroyed in an act of genocide?  Is there justice for the millions of people that have been abused and killed by their governments? It doesn't seem right! These people are getting away with it!  Where is the justice?

The answer is found in the justice of God.  The justice of God is not a very popular doctrine in general.  Most of the time we hear about the love of God and the peace of God and the joy of God but we don't always like to think of the justice of God.  That's sad, because it is such a wonderful doctrine.  There is justice! All that suffering and horror in the world? God will make it right! Being made in the image of God means we have some of his desire for justice and this desire for justice can only be fulfilled if we look for its fulfillment in God.  He alone has the power to bring about complete justice.

Of course, the reason we don't like thinking about this doctrine is that it doesn't just apply to the child molester and the serial killer.  It applies to me. It applies to you.  Its a wonderful doctrine and a scary doctrine, but the true wonder of God's justice is that it allows him to display so wonderfully his love.  Punishment for our sins will happen, but if we believe in God he fulfills his justice marvelously.  He takes those sins and punishes them completely and thoroughly.  He wipes them away forever.  And he does so through his Son hanging on a cross.  What a wonderful thought!  Justice will be served and love will be displayed!

Reasons to Believe - number 1 - God tells us to

Its very simple isn't it? Why should we believe in God?  Well, he tells us to do so and he knows what is good for us.  I know this isn't some long detailed argument.  I know it isn't even a 'logical' argument.  But its right. Think back to when you were a kid and your dad told you not to do something.
'But why not dad?'  
'Because I said so.'
Maybe you hated hearing that when you were a kid, but there were still two reasons in there to listen to him.  First of all your dad was a lot smarter than you and probably knew what he was talking about, and secondly if you didn't listen there were consequences. Its the same with God.  We can whine and complain about it and maybe even rant against his command, but when it comes down to it God knows better than us and if we don't listen to this command there are consequences!

God says to us 'This is how you are saved.  Believe.'  So do it.  Listen to him.  Believe!

Reasons to believe - Introduction

Everyone believes in something.  There is belief in God, belief in Buddha, belief in self, belief in the government, belief in science and belief in any number of other things.  We all have something or someone that we believe in as our saviour or that gives us meaning in life.  Believing is a part of life. 

The question is, why do we believe what we believe?  Obviously there are a lot of answers to that question.  People might say our beliefs come from what we are taught.  They might say our beliefs come from choices we make or they might even say they come from something external to us.  As I'm sure you know, I believe in God and so I would like to present some of the reasons that I believe what I do.

This series is not intended to prove the existence of God or to be a list of 'evidence' in favor of Christianity. It will merely be a list of reasons that we should believe in God. There are many, many reasons to do so and I am persuaded that this is indeed a reasonable faith so I hope you enjoy the series!

Huckleberry Finn - Too offensive?

Words matter. If you don't believe me look at the controversy going around the news about the new printing of Huckleberry Finn.  The words 'nigger' and 'injun' were removed from the book and it is creating a heated controversy.  Why such a fervor over two words?  Because word matter.  The words that you use are important.  For example I could have written 'these words were censored from the book' and it would have portrayed the same idea, but given you a different emotional response to that idea.  Changing the word 'removed' to 'censored' changes the meaning in a very small way, but with a pretty big impact.  So we see that words matter.  

In this particular case, there is probably enough arguing about it already so I won't go into to much detail on it, but I do think we should still read the original.  Mark Twain himself said about the book "[it is]...a book of mine where a sound heart and a deformed conscience come into collision and conscience suffers defeat." He is showing us that we do not have to be victims of our culture.

Even though Huck could not put into words what he felt and even though he often thought that he should do certain things that were part of his culture (like turn Jim in) he instead did what was in his heart and treated him like a human.  The whole point of the book revolves around that word nigger.  Even though Huck repeatedly called him a nigger he did not treat him as a slave.  Even though Huck was a product of his culture, he broke out of his cultural bounds.  If you take away the word nigger, he ceases to be truly a product of his culture and he has no cultural bounds to break out of.  You take away much of the point of the book by 'sanitizing' Huck.  All that to say; read the original!

There is however, a deeper lesson here for us.  Just as we see that this word matters in the book (and also for those on both sides of the issue), we are reminded that words matter in all areas of our lives.  The words we use matter.  The words we believe matter.  The words we think about matter.  Words are not merely passive tools that transport concepts from my mind to yours. They carry emotions and ideas that go far beyond what the mere definition of the word expresses.  This leads to two areas we need to be careful of.  We need to carefully choose the words that come out of our mouths, but this is not the only area that words matter.  The words that go out of us matter, bu the words that come into us also matter!

I'm sure most of us have been warned about the dangers of using wrong language and the effect it can have on those around us, but how many of us have stopped to think about the effect of the words that we take in?  If we passively ingest everything that gets fed to us on the radio, tv, news, and even your friends on facebook, are we being careful about our words? Uncritical evaluation of the words we hear can have an influence on us that we are not even aware of.  Ignoring wise words will hurt us.

The wise of heart will receive commandments,
but a babbling fool will come to ruin.

But taking in foolishness will hurt us as well.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Be wise!  Think about the words you say and hear.  Fill yourself with good words and you will have good words flow out of you.

Is God a Killjoy?

I'm reading a book called the Ten(der) Commandments by Ron Mehl and it has really made me stop and think so I though I would share some of the gleanings I've gotten from it so far with you.

So often when people think of God and the bible they see someone who is a killjoy. They read the Ten Commandments and the hear rattling chains and clanking prison doors. They see these Commands as the harsh, legalistic, confining commandments of a god who finds some kind of sadistic joy in watching people suffer as they try to keep his laws. Is this really the case? Are the Ten Commandments a binding burden on us that God has put there just because he can?

Have you ever stopped and taken a moment to read through Exodus 19 in its lead up to the giving of the Ten Commands in Exodus 20? 'The Lord called to Moses out of the mountain, saying, "Thus you shall say to the house of Jacob, and tell the people of Israel: You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on Eagles' wings and brought you to myself. Now therefore if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine; and you shall be to me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. These are the words that you shall speak to the people of Israel."' (Ex 19:3-6)Did you hear that? In his introduction to the Ten Commandments God talks about bearing his people up on eagles wings. The Lord was reminding them of how much he had done and how he had saved them from oppression and slavery. How can a God who loves his children so much that he will use an analogy like that of a mother eagle teaching her young to fly and making sure they don't get hurt, give unloving commands? No! God's commandments are expressions of his love and care and concern for his people. They aren't just some arbitrary laws that he has given to makes us unhappy, they are the loving words of a loving God. "I bore you up on eagles wings!"

love can come in many different shapes. It might come as a quick hug from a friend when you need it the most, it might come as a word of encouragement or a box of chocolates, or a love letter, or a blood soaked cross on Calvary's hill, or it might even show up written in stone. I might come as Ten Commandments. God has written us a love letter (the bible) and it is full of stories about him and those that follow him, it is full of wisdom and poetry, it is full of fantastic and glorious stories about what he is like, and it is full of advice. Loving advice. Fatherly advice. Perfect advice. Ten Commandment advice. Who wouldn't want to listen to commands like this?